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<title>How to Have Fun And Destroy Your Liver At The Same Time In 2077 by Hadrian_Kallig2077</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28275621">How to Have Fun And Destroy Your Liver At The Same Time In 2077</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hadrian_Kallig2077/pseuds/Hadrian_Kallig2077'>Hadrian_Kallig2077</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Many Crack Stories of V and Silverhand [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drunken Shenanigans, F/M, Inspired by Red Dead Redemption, Replace "LENNY" with "V"</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 22:07:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,953</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28275621</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hadrian_Kallig2077/pseuds/Hadrian_Kallig2077</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Johnny, why weren’t you ever married?”</p><p>Johnny looked to V, a sad expression adorned on his face.</p><p>“No one would have me” he drunkenly slurred.</p><p>Less than a minute later he was jumping up and down like a madman</p><p>V and Johnny, in celebration of returning to the land of the living and new lives ahead of them, get absolutely smashed in a dive bar.</p><p>Recently played Red Dead Redemption 2 again. Loved the “A Quiet Time” mission so much, I felt I had to make this. One shot.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Panam Palmer/Male V, Rogue Amendiares/Johnny Silverhand</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Many Crack Stories of V and Silverhand [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2067441</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>56</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>How to Have Fun And Destroy Your Liver At The Same Time In 2077</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Johnny Silverhand, former terrorist and full time curmudgeon, was a bit skeptical about this outing V wanted to do with him.</p><p> </p><p>“A place like this, V? The water’d kill you faster than the cheap swill.”</p><p> </p><p>V shook his head</p><p> </p><p>“Place like this, no one will bat an eye at who we are. People in Night City aren’t gonna easily forget the face of a man who blew up half of their home 50 years ago. Besides, we won’t be here long. Just one or two and we’ll head back to Seattle, right Johnny”</p><p> </p><p>Johnny grunted non committedly.</p><p> </p><p>“Sure. Just a quiet drink, no big drama. Hey bartender! Two Tequillas Old Fashioned over here! And while you’re at it, top it with beer and sprinkle some chilli”</p><p> </p><p>The bartender looked oddly at the pair.</p><p> </p><p>“The Silverhand? Not many people ordering that drink nowadays.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, then, guess that means you’ll have no problems making it, then, right?” Johnny asked, a bit of that old rockerboy arrogance filling his tone.</p><p>V punched him in the shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“Chill, gonk! The last person you wanna piss off is the guy making your drink!” V whispered harshly, before he turned to the bartender. “Ignore the old man here. He woke up from his afternoon nap early today and he’s been grumpy ever since. If you could fulfill his request, that’d be great. If not, regular tequila is fine.”</p><p> </p><p>Johnny’s glare was, if anything, even harsher than before, but he kept his tongue.</p><p> </p><p>The bartender shook his head. “I’ll make it, long as you pay beforehand. Got too many grifters entering the bar as of late.”</p><p> </p><p>V smirked, waving his hand and transferring the eddies. “I think this should do it. As for me, I’ll take my choom’s  drink shaken, not stirred, if you please”</p><p> </p><p>The bartender’s eyes went wide. He then immediately grabbed the shaker and went to work.</p><p> </p><p>Johnny shook his head, a smile adorning his face.</p><p> </p><p>“Seriously, “Shaken, not stirred?” What the fuck was that, V? Did you join MI6 while I was in Cyberspace?”</p><p> </p><p>V was also smiling a little bit. “I always wanted to say that. Problem was that nobody was old enough or into old movies enough to appreciate that joke.”</p><p> </p><p>The bartender returned with the drinks. V and Johnny thanked the bartender before returning to their conversation.</p><p> </p><p>“So, Cyberspace, huh? I’ve seen a lot of crazy, crazy shit, but that Blackwall business..”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve seen a lot of crazy, crazy shit” a drunkard unwelcomingly slurred to the duo, mocking their conversation. Johnny was starting to get a little irritated.</p><p> </p><p>“Will you shut up?” Johnny grumbled toward the man, hoping he’d go away.</p><p> </p><p>“Will you shut up?” The drunkard replied back, clearly intent on bothering the duo.</p><p> </p><p>Johnny had had enough of the clown. He made a motion to get up from his seat when V grabbed his shoulder and forced him to sit down. V then turned to the drunkard</p><p> </p><p>“Listen, choomba, you’re a charming guy. One of the best. But, me and the old man here, we’re trying to catch up here. Haven’t seen each other in a while. So, could you possibly leave us alone?” V asked politely. “No offense intended.”</p><p> </p><p>The drunkard stumbled a bit, before he started moving away from the duo.</p><p> </p><p>“Ain’t no pleasing some gonks. Was just...trying to be friendly.”</p><p> </p><p>V and Johnny smiled, before clinking their glasses together and downing a Silverhand.</p><p> </p><p>And then another.</p><p> </p><p>And another.</p><p> </p><p>And another.</p><p> </p><p>And one more.</p><p> </p><p>Just one more.</p><p> </p><p>By the time they’d reached their 7th glass, their vision was getting a little wobbly.</p><p> </p><p>Johnny was laughing at the small band that was playing on the small stage of the bar.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s great, choomba.” he slurred, before patting them on the back. However, there was now a problem. V was nowhere to be found.</p><p> </p><p>“V?” Johnny asked. “V, where are you?”</p><p> </p><p>“V!” Johnny shouted. He climbed up the stairs and then noticed V close to a railing. “What are you doing, kid.”</p><p> </p><p>V was precariously balancing a glass on his head</p><p>“You know what, I don’t kno-”</p><p> </p><p>The glass fell and shattered on the floor below, Johnny and V both fruitlessly trying to save it.</p><p> </p><p>The duo forgot all about the Silverhands and moved on to just plain Old Tequilla. They drank some more.</p><p> </p><p>And some more.</p><p> </p><p>And some more.</p><p> </p><p>Their vision was getting even wobblier now, but they were still able to speak.</p><p> </p><p>“Johnny, why weren’t you ever married?”</p><p> </p><p>Johnny looked to V, a sad expression adorned on his face.</p><p> </p><p>“No one would have me” he drunkenly slurred.</p><p> </p><p>Less than a minute later he was jumping up and down like a madman</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>Some more drinks later</b>
</p><p> </p><p>“You see, that’s the thing, because it…” Johnny turned, and got a shock.</p><p> </p><p>V disappeared.</p><p> </p><p>Again.</p><p> </p><p>“V?” Johnny asked, confused at his disappearance. He started coming down the stairs. “V, where are you?” he asked, before he noticed a commotion going on in the bar.</p><p> </p><p>V had climbed onto the bar, a snarl adorned on his face. Some folks were surrounding him.</p><p> </p><p>“Get that Corpo Rat!” one man cried, trying his best to grab V.</p><p> </p><p>Johnny got angry at that exclamation. “Leave the kid alone, you goddamn animals!”</p><p> </p><p>The man turned to him. “Who do you think you’re talking to?” he asked, anger filling his tone.</p><p> </p><p>Johnny wasn’t having it. He’d faced much worse, and this kid in front of him was nothing.</p><p> </p><p>“Nobody, I’m talking to no-body.”</p><p> </p><p>The man was angry now. “What did you say?!”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Johnny slurred</p><p> </p><p>“I said, what did you say?!!” the man exclaimed</p><p> </p><p>Johnny was getting real pissed now. “Get lost, gonk!”</p><p> </p><p>The man’s friend was joining the fray now. “Shut your mouth, old man!”</p><p> </p><p>The man nodded. “Yeah, shut your mouth, old man!”</p><p> </p><p>Next thing Johnny knew, he was doing a line dance Kazachok with everyone in the bar.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Some time later</b>
</p><p> </p><p>There was no denying that Johnny was blasted now. At this point, if he’d had more tequila than blood in his body, he wouldn’t be surprised. He went back to the bar.</p><p> </p><p>Surprise, surprise, V had disappeared, again.</p><p> </p><p>“V!” Johnny shouted. He was getting real pissed that V kept disappearing over and over again. “V, you...you...bastard!”</p><p>Johnny headed towards some chromed out patrons in the bar. “There you are, V!”</p><p> </p><p>The patron turned to him, confused. This wasn’t V!</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, wrong dude.” Johnny said, apologetically.</p><p> </p><p>Wait, there he was!</p><p> </p><p>“Found ya, V!” Johnny exclaimed. Johnny then blinked, and the man in front of him <em> was not </em> V.</p><p> </p><p>“How many have you had, choom?” The man in front of him asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry.” Johnny stated, sheepish.</p><p> </p><p>“V, where you hiding now! VEEEEEEE” Johnny shouted. He saw a door.</p><p> </p><p>This must be where he went!</p><p> </p><p>He was wrong.</p><p>Johnny instead saw the sight of two people with V’s head going at it, before screaming in fear at the sight of him.</p><p> </p><p>Johnny would never admit, but that sight might have made him scream a little bit too.</p><p> </p><p>He saw V, somehow squeezed into a dress? How did that happen? Nevertheless, Johnny went up to him.</p><p> </p><p>“There you are, V!” Johnny exclaimed. He blinked, and then a woman’s face popped into his view.</p><p> </p><p>“Do I look like a V to you?!” The woman exclaimed, her voice haughty.</p><p> </p><p>As Johnny was heading downstairs, V (was he the real one?) grabbed Johnny and spun him around.</p><p> </p><p>“Johnny...Johnny, what are you doing?” he asked, a heavy slur present in his speech.</p><p> </p><p>Johnny may have been a little upset with how many times V had disappeared now, so he decided “Fuck it”, and slapped him in the face.</p><p> </p><p>V stood there for a second, stunned, before a smile appeared on his face as he slapped Johnny right back.</p><p> </p><p>They had somehow gathered a full crowd a few seconds later, with the duo continuing to slap each other.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re a...you’re a good friend to me, Johnny Silverhand.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh shut up, gonk. Cheers.” Johnny said, before they downed a pitcher of beer.</p><p> </p><p>“Cheers” a familiar voice said, sitting next to them.</p><p> </p><p>Johnny had had enough.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, not you again!!” he exclaimed, before grabbing the drunkard and taking him outside.</p><p> </p><p>Johnny started drowning the man, hoping that he’d get sober and stop bothering him and V. Johnny let up for a moment, before the drunkard punched him in the dick and hobbled away. Johnny, winded, slowly got up.</p><p>The duo was completely smashed. They were just wandering around, laughing at random things that caught their attention. They fell down a few times in the dirt, too.</p><p> </p><p>V was never the kinda guy to handle alcohol well. He was puking his guts out, before the local law enforcement came in with the drunkard in tow.</p><p> </p><p>“There they are, those are the men!” The (former) drunkard shouted. The lawmen grabbed V before they went after Johnny. “Come here, you drunk gonk!”</p><p> </p><p>Johnny had never bent the knee to law, local or nationwide, and he wasn’t about to now.</p><p> </p><p>“<b>NEVER!</b>” he shouted, before turning tail and fleeing the scene.</p><p> </p><p>“<b>YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!!</b>” Johnny shouted, somehow able to run despite all the alcohol in his system.</p><p> </p><p>The lawmen surrounded the corner in front of him. “You! Stop right now, you drunken gonk! I SAID STOP!”</p><p> </p><p>Johnny did not listen. “<b>I’M AN AMERICANNNNN!</b>” He shouted, before trying to climb the fence.</p><p> </p><p>Johnny was good, but at that point, he was asking for a miracle. A miracle which, sadly, he did not get, as he fell down and finally lost consciousness.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>SOME TIME LATER</b>
</p><p> </p><p>“Johnny”, a voice shouted in the void</p><p> </p><p>“Johnny!”, the voice said, a little more urgently.</p><p> </p><p>Johnny rubbed his eyes. “Shut up. Just shut up. Argh. I wanna die, again. Ugh. Where are we? What did we do?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know.” V replied.</p><p> </p><p>“Me neither. Shit!”</p><p> </p><p>“You pair of degenerates.” The sheriff stated, talking to the duo. “There’s a fine for drunken violence in this town. You’re lucky no one was killed.”</p><p>“Hey, we didn’t start a thing!” Johnny exclaimed.</p><p> </p><p>The sheriff stared at the duo, unimpressed. “Yes you did.”</p><p> </p><p>Johnny waved his arm. “Well, I don’t remember.”</p><p> </p><p>“Like I said, there’s a fine on drunken violence in this town. You’re lucky your girlfriends came here to pick you up just now.”</p><p> </p><p>Oh no.</p><p> </p><p>Panam and Rogue walked into the cell. If looks could kill, both Johnny and V would be ash.</p><p> </p><p>The sheriff started unlocking the cell doors. “Now, get outta here, and I don’t want to see your faces around here, ever again.”</p><p> </p><p>V and Johnny were both grabbed by their respective significant others, before being dragged outside. Johnny, while he was in a new body, was used to the killer hangover and other side effects of a heavy night out.</p><p> </p><p>V, on the other hand…</p><p> </p><p>Well…</p><p> </p><p>Not so much.</p><p> </p><p>After V puked his guts out on the dirt road, he turned to Johnny, annoyance clear on his face.</p><p> </p><p>“So, THAT was a quiet drink?” he asked, clearly pissed.</p><p> </p><p>Johnny shook his head. “Agh, first one was pretty quiet.”</p><p> </p><p>V shook his head too, chuckling. “Yeah, the first one was pretty quiet.”</p><p> </p><p>Panam crossed her arms. “I can’t believe you idiots. You promised only one drink and then you’d come back! Instead, I have to learn, from Rogue, of all people, that you went and almost drowned someone and got locked up for drunken violence!”</p><p> </p><p>V shook his arms, trying to clear himself of any responsibility. “Don’t look at me, it was Johnny who insisted we make his tequila mix from hell!”</p><p>“Fuck you, V! I have taste!” Johnny exclaimed. Rogue shook her head.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s just get back home. And no more late night excursions, from the both of you!”</p>
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